How to Kill Anime Villians
by ChaseYoungluvr
Summary: Cowritten with Kinkatia. Lessons on how to kill your favorite anime villians. Third chapter is finally up! Please enjoy! Please no flames, we worked hard on this.
1. Jaken

Hey, how's it goin' guys? This is a story that was cowritten with Kinkatia.

Afterall, we both can provide a little humor to a story so we decided to

work together. We hope you'll enjoy this! Our first victim-er-I mean star

is Jaken from Inuyasha! Hope you like it!

Lesson 1: How to Kill Jaken

Step 1: Go to Naraku and ask him to transform into Lord Sesshomaru. If

he refuses at first, use blackmail. Such as a picture from a New Years

Party where he got so drunk that he went into Kagome's closet and put

on her school uniform. Threaten to show it to everyone and he'll gladly

oblige!

Step 2: Tell Naraku as Lord Sesshomaru to command Jaken to find some

stupid item that's never been heard of like a poisonous bunny rabbit. Jaken

may question at first, but once Naraku gives him that cold stare he'll do it.

Step 3: While in his search, train a monkey named Kie (Kinkatia's Inner

Evil) to steal the Staff of Two Heads. It won't take long since Kie is very

obidient, as long as you don't give her any nuclear bananas. Then there

will be trouble. Also, be careful because Kie is a troublemaker and if you

don't keep your eyes on her she'll be gone in no time, causing mischief. It's

better to let a girl handle her because she doesn't get along with boys very

well.

Step 4: Once Kie has stolen the Staff of Two Heads, give her a secret

command to use the staff to shoot several blasts of fire at Jaken until he

is running around in circles, trying to put out the fire.

Step 5: Have Kie lure Jaken with the staff into a huge field of flowers.

At this point, command Kie to discard the staff and leave. Eventually,

Jaken will enter the field, fuming about how he hates flowers and wants

to kill the monkey.

Step 6: Summon a magical flute when Jaken finally grabs the staff and

play the flute. This will summon a huge flower demon. Jaken will try

to blast it at first, but it won't do him any good since the demon has a

magical barrier around it.

Step 7: Tell the demon that imps are really delicious and suggest that he

eat Jaken because they're a rare delicacy. If the demon is unsure just

tell him that Jaken called him a pansy and wuss and that will envoke his

anger.

Step 8: The demon will then devour Jaken in one gulp and be satisfied.

Once he is eaten, if he is still hungry, offer him some honey. Play the

flute once more and the demon will go back to sleep in its comfortable

flower bed.

Step 9: Explain to Lord Sesshomaru why there is a person who looks

exactly like him. If he kills Naraku after finding out his secret then

that's just an added bonus. Announce that Jaken is dead and see Lord

Sesshomaru smile happily for the first time.

Step 10: Throw a big party with everyone from the show of Inuyasha,

celebrating the death of Jaken.

Well, that's how you kill Jaken. Please review, we like to hear from our

readers. Otherwise, you'll make us cry (No, not really. I'm only teasing).

Kinkatia will be writing the next one so until then, later guys!


	2. Kuro

Lesson two is here, courtesy of me, Kinkatia! Hehe, enjoy!

Disclaimer: We don't own One Piece, InuYasha, or Kirby! And Flame Rising was a reviewer (or rather, flamer) last chapter! Get it, got it, good!

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Lesson 2: How to Kill Captain Kuro

Step 1: Sneak up on Kuro when he isn't looking, and glomp him. This should surprise him into a state of shock long enough for you to restrain him.

Step 2: Find Gutok, the outcast of the Charonian civilization, and tell him Kuro has a Pop-Tart for him. Gutok will then squeak 'Pop-Tart' and hug Kuro, trapping him in a Charonian Death Grip TM. Then, before he comes out of his state of shock, track down InuYasha and ask him politely to use his Tetsusaiga to clip Kuro's metal claws. If he refuses, threaten him with a brick-bashing, and he should comply. Make sure he's extra rough and uses his Adamant Barrage.

Step 3: When Kuro awakens, place Flame Rising just within kicking distance of Kuro, so that he'll have someone to pummel while you prepare for the next step. While Kuro is distracted, buy some milk and track down a shady stranger. Ask that stranger to put just enough poison in the milk to cause hallucinations. Make sure they will be scary hallucinations.

Step 4: Discard the pummeled flamer and approach Kuro cautiously. If he is too exhausted to cause trouble, good. If not, wait until he tires himself out demanding you set him free. Once it is safe to go near him, force the poisoned milk down his throat. If you're lucky, it will taste really bad, and he'll nearly choke on it.

Step 5: Watch closely until he starts to hallucinate. His visions should appear in a thought bubble above his head. The thought bubble will then show him being chased by a black Kirby named Nova, who is leading a massive army of chibi mime Sesshomaru's. Once the Sesshy's have trapped Kuro in an invisible box, drag him to the small harbor village that is Luffy's home town.

Step 6: While Kuro is still being tormented by his hallucinations of chibi demon mimery, befriend the sea monster that nearly ate Luffy as a kid. I'm sure there's more than one, so make sure it is the one that bit off Shanks' arm.

Step 7: Slap Kuro silly until he wakes up from his nightmares. Smile sweetly at him before dislodging Gutok and tossing him in the harbor, making sure he gets extra wet. Then, ask the sea monster to do you a favor and eat the bad pirate captain. Sit back and enjoy the show!

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Well, that's how you kill Captain Kuro! By the way, I, Kinkatia, own all rights to Gutok, Ak, and the killer muffin. Review, or Nova will lead her army to get you next! Onegai? (That means please, lol.)


	3. Suzaku

Hey everyone! ChaseYoungluvr here! Sorry it took so long to get the 3rd chapter up.

I've been busy getting ready for college and been sort of goofing off too. Anyway I

hope you enjoy this next chapter! This time we have...Suzaku, Leader of the Four Beast!

So, if you're a big Yu Yu Hakusho fan like me, you'll enjoy this one!

Lesson 3: How to Kill Suzaku

1.) Send in Yusuke to fight with Suzaku. While he is distracted, switch Murg with a

robotic parrot. Make sure that the parrot has been programmed ahead of time to only

say, "Dummyhead" whenever Suzaku speaks.

2.) Get a ice cold bucket of water and balance it on top of the entrance door. (It doesn't

have to be iced, but it makes it funnier, plus you'll get the chance to hear Suzaku

scream like a girl.)

3.) Next, take Murg and tie her up with rope and put her in front of a fan which you

will place in a window. Make sure the fan is high power and that the rope goes

through the blade so that it will cut when the time is right.

4.) Before the fight comes to an end, make sure to pick up the Makai whistle and hide

in your bag, then wait patiently to see the outcome of the fight. (More than likely,

Yusuke will win.)

5.) Leave with Yusuke out of the emergency exit and watch the madness ensue.

Because, as soon as Suzaku starts grumbling about how he was yet again defeated

by Yusuke, the parrot will call him a dummyhead over and over again.

6.) Becoming enraged, Suzaku will zap the parrot, making it explode. He will then call

Murg. That will be your cue to turn on the big fan with a button that will be in your

bag. The fan will be so loud that it will get Suzaku's attention. When he looks up, the

blades of the fan will cut the rope and send Murg right into Suzaku, where she will

plug his mouth in a most humorous way.

7.) Once he is able to finally spit Murg out, he will take Murg and to try and get away.

When he opens the door, the bucket of ice cold water will splash all over Suzaku

and ZAP!!! His lightening powers will absorb the water and shock both him and

Murg. It won't be enough to kill them, but it sure as heck will be funny to listen to

their blood curdling screams of pain. (Demented aren't I? Lol.)

8.) As they run out the room, go through the shortcut that Suzaku doesn't know about

and you will wind up in a hall. Take a skateboard and put it in the middle of the

hallway. And place Kie next to the window at the end of the hall.

9.) Suzaku and Murg will come down moments later from the flight of stairs and run

down the hallway. They will not notice the skateboard and thus Suzaku will step on

it and slid down the hallway with Murg in his hands. The skate board will throw

them into the window where Suzaku will be clinging to the edge for dear life.

10.) This will be Kie's cue to get up on the windowsill. As Suzaku commands Kie to

pull him up, Kie will slowly pull one finger after another off the windowsill until

finally Suzaku falls from the castle window, never to be heard from again.

Well, that's how you kill Suzaku. Any questions? I thought not. Lol. Please review! And

I apologize to anyone who has been waiting a long time for this. I had major writer's block

so...yeah. I know it's not my best work, but please...no flames. This is ChaseYoungluvr

signing out. Kinkatia will go next. Until next time, bye everyone:)


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